September 5, 2010

I got bored so I wrote a letter to Chuck Klosterman.

Well wouldn't you know it, Chuck Klosterman has a Facebook.

Dear Chuck,

First of all this whole Facebook thing is weird.

Well, let me explain.

As I've been an avid of yours for years, I feel like I can address you as if I know you on a first name basis.

First and foremost, I'm sure you don't actually read and/or respond to any of the comments left by your numerous fans. If so, that would be incredible.

Yet, I digress.

I've been reading your work since your days at SPIN--before it became the poor man's version of a Rolling Stones cover band. "Re-Use Your Illusion," "What If Jay-Z Had a Blog" (and this is despite the fact that Morrisey was on the cover), "Fitter Happier: Radiohead Return," "The Rock Lexicon," "Mo' Future for You!," and last, but certainly not least, is your Golden Age of Grostesque-era Manson interview. (By the way, I'm from New Orleans and I think it's bullshit that Marilyn Manson found human bones to smoke)

Anyway, so I just thought you know I am seriously feeling various rap and r&b from the late-90s through the early-00s. (Skee Lo's "I Wish" is just fuckinamazing.)

However, what I really want to know Chuck: Is it just me, or does it sound like Biggie's totally a-fuckin sleep during these vocals?? See video here: (type in "Lil' Kil feat. Lil Cease - Crush on You (1997)")

Sadly, these are the types of things that keep me from sleeping at night, not the current state of the human race. Would love to know what you think of this.

By the way, you are an amazing man.

-Love, Dominique Minor

April 30, 2009

God must have spent a little more time on you.

It's almost 3:30 in the morning as I sit here, taking a break from cleaning my incredibly messy room. Final exams are looming, so I'm using cleaning as a vehicle to decompress.

Going well so far...

I started off the cleaning session with Radiohead's Hail to the Thief. Everybody makes such a big deal about Okay Computer and In Rainbows (although, I'm not disputing either album's artistic value); however, my personal favorite has always been Hail to the Thief and Kid A. And I'd definitely say Kid A > Hail to the Thief.


Critics are often wrong. And I should know because I'm one of them.

Next, I played 'Nsync's self-titled album. I went through an intense phase with 'Nsync during my adolescent years --to an extent which I will not describe for fear of embarrassment. However, what's probably even more embarrassing is what I'm about to say:

In a world of auto-tuned, over-sexed radio pop, I find "God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You" as being deeply sweet and touching. It reminds of a time when every fucking song on the radio wasn't about drinking, asses, clubbing, sexing, or drinking and sexing --or, all of the above.

Anyway, I'm off to finish cleaning. Or, sleep. Whichever happens first.

February 28, 2009

Buying Shit Inspires Me.

Today, I bought an iPod, and in the midst of the incredible headphone sex I've been having for the past hour I realized two (kind of) awesome things:

1. "White Walls" by Between the Buried and Me really kicks ass.

I reviewed BTAM's album, Colors, last year and even picked it as one of my year-end favorites. After I reviewed the album (see link on left side), I read other reviews to hear other critics' spin on it. An overwhelming amount reviews lauded the last song on Colors, "White Walls." When I was reviewing it I didn't give the song too much thought. It's a concept album, so all of the songs blend together from beginning to end. Consequently, if you're setting down and listening to the album at one time (as I did when I was reviewing it), it's really hard to differentiate the transitions of each song, unless you want to spend the entire time looking at your CD player. However, thanks to my new purchase, I got a chance to listen to it outside the context of the album since I have my 'Pod on shuffle. I'm not much of a metalcore fan, but I whole-heartedly enjoy BATM's uncanny balance of brutal thrashcore, prog-rock, and melody.

2. Britney + Dangermouse = ???

Next up on my shuffle was "Gimme More", Britney Spears' desperate 2007 comeback hit. While I think the song is absolutely inane, I must it has a recockulously catchy beat. I have never purchased any of her albums, but I feel like have due to constant radioplay over the year. In hearing her music I have noticed that production on her last two albums, Blackout and Circus, have been impressive. ...Well, "impressive" in the sense that it's not really about the music itself: the lyrics are meaningless, it's not even Britney's real voice, and it is solely designed for people to get their freak on. In essence, it gets people dancing and it sells. And when I think of her most danceable songs, it's usually a result of a collaboration with producers who work in hip-hop. For example, "I'm a Slave 4 u" and "Boys" (both with Pharrell of N.E.R.D). I figured if Dangermouse flawlessly seam the Fab Four's White Album with Jay-Z in six weeks, I can only imagine what he could he do working with Britney. Until then, I can only ponder...

January 25, 2009

The White Bitch Cometh

The White Bitch
The White Bitch’s Prey Drive

Like most of those who are familiar with The White Bitch’s tunes, I immediately picked up on its early-Prince era influence. However, upon meeting Michael Patrick Welch, the man behind the Bitch, I learned that it was not only the Great Purple One that inspired his falsetto-heavy funk-rock, but also 90s alt-rockers, Shudder To Think. When considering the band’s propensity toward skewed and broken pop melodies, it became clear how it fits within the context of The White Bitch.

His music is equal parts alt-rock, funk, abrasive punk, indie, pop, and R&B –which he somehow manages to do without overloading your senses. His debut album, The White Bitch’s Prey Drive, opens with “hep!,” a guitar-drenched soundscape that is enhanced by Ray Bong, who adds trippy atmospherics throughout the album. Bong is a tireless nitrous oxide-loving local noise-rock purveyor who plays a toy guitar and an assortment of effect pedals. The two surprisingly have a balanced relationship; Bong’s intangible electro embellishments balance out Welch’s workman-like alt-rock. Their collaboration works particularly well on “a confectioner’s dream” and “Attn. 2,” a song which Welch dedicated to fellow redheads during his performance at this year’s Voodoo Festival, or as he puts it, “my people rise up!”

Elsewhere on Prey Drive, Welch showcases clever lyricism on “What is Natural?,” a cryptic album gem. “No, it ain’t natural that you follow me around/The way you cry when I leave and make that bleating sound/No, I’m not putting you in a cage,” he sings. Which may raise eyebrows upon first listen; however, as it turns out, it is a charming ode to his beloved pygmy goat Chauncey. While those songs, and others like them shine, “creamy daemon” and “ASSTRAkt” are lower points on album—which luckily there are few—that suffer from conflicting sonic structures and lo-fi recording quality.

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