April 9, 2008

"Rock The Cradle" = :-(

"Rock The Cradle" has to be the most unoriginal concept I've ever witnessed[1]: The offspring of famous musicians, who are establishing careers on the sole basis of "setting themselves apart" from their parents...while performing someone else's music in a rip-off American Idol contest.

I am living inside a vacuous cultural vacuum.

Aww...Boo-hoo. Look at how these poor (rich!) rockstar children have to "struggle." Give me a fucking break. These kids are going on an MTV (!) show that will be force-fed to the masses, (and, of course, any material released by these tragedies will be eaten up like a fat kid's last cupcake). Much to my chagrin, they're going to give every single one of these kids recording contracts.


Straight From The Horse's Mouth:
When the show returned from the second commercial break the generic blockhead host told the audience: "[These kids are] going to use MTV to get famous," to which the crowd (sadly) met with applause.


They are not even trying to be subtle about not creating new, interesting, or relevant music! And what's even crazier is that the kids competing on the show actually believe the asshats on the judges' panels give a fuck about their talent. What they see is a herd of fuckin' cash cows. They know Bobby Brown's kid is going to push records. It's all about their lining pockets.

What's even more disturbing is that during the judging portion of the show, the judges focus the importance of their "style" and appearance. Hmm...what about actually having talent?

...and what's that? Dee Snider's son said he "kicks more ass" than Robert Plant [2]?:

fucking douche...

Robert Plant could eat him for breakfast. And of course Rolling Stone is totally sucking his dick in this write-up. Jann's gotta have somebody to put on the cover next month, right?

However, RS did have this to say, which is (sadly) true:
Lattanzi...had never performed in front of a crowd before last night and looked like a total disaster. During her version of INXS‘ “Never Tear Us Apart,” she sounded like somebody doing an unflattering Fiona Apple impression on Saturday Night Live.


1. I have to admit, the title of the show is pretty witty.

2. I couldn't locate the clip online; however, MTV will be sure to re-play the episode again (and again and again and again....)

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